life is like mariokart

well that is if you try.

see i was on my way to work last saturday.  as i flew down the turnpike i made a move to pass a car and i did so uneventfully.  i was in the left most lane of a three lane highway and as soon as i passed the girl in the car to my right she quickly switched lanes behind me and got a little too close.  well usually when this happens and someone starts tailgating me i take action.  i dont throw banana peels or turtle shells but i do wash my windshield.  a lot.  the water will fly off from my car and mess up the windshield of the car behind me. its a simple and non-aggressive way to take revenge and get a laugh.  especially when i keep washing after the person thinks they cleaned up.  im laughing thinking about it now.  try it sometime.

anyway before i could take revenge, another car squeezed in between us.  pissed me off even more.  so i definitely needed to wash ASAP.  i got to work on my windshield but the new guy behind me seemed unaffected.  so i washed again.  and again.  finally i realized something about the air current behind me was carrying the water over my car and then over the punk behind me who squeezed in and onto the original girl who annoyed me.  she was windshield washing and wiping away all the water i was firing.  i tried over and over to get the other guy too.  turns out i had to create a little distance by speeding up and then i got him too. 

after a good laugh my eye was distracted by an amber light near the odometer.  damn it.

low windshield washer fluid. 
i'll waste another a gallon.
totally worth it.

free hbo? thats amazing!

driving over to the office today i passed a comfort inn.  the hotel has been there a long time and seems like its probably decent based on the exterior maintenance.  they also have a pretty large ticker style sign under the comfort inn sign.  usually its stuff about the restaurant inside or advertising meeting facilities...stuff like that.  well today they proudly anounced, "4 HBO's."  for me i think thats actually a new low, nothing to be bragging about.  advertising HBO in a hotel is so 1980's and maybe early 90's.  those were a dark era in technology, style, and pretty much everything else.  for starters there are hardly any good shows still on HBO.  and even if there are who the hell would actually use that in making a decision of where to stay?  not in this day and age.  i'd hope.  maybe if you are from some small town in mississippi you might think its luxury but no one else is excused.  but even the crappiest and sleaziest motels have free hbo.  if you want to impress me give me free wi-fi and an lcd hdtv.  then i'd be tempted to spend the night. 

why is my towel wet?

im hardly a gym guy but ive started to go regularly over the last month.  i dont feel different.  i dont look different.  my weight is 179.4 on average today and it was the same before.  i know many of you may thinking, "well of course it wont change, you're already perfect!"  i must disagree...but i'll let you win that argument. 

okay so my mind is constantly wandering while i am at the gym and i notice so many strange things which will probably come out in different posts.  today i got something pretty screwed up that happened to me because of me.  i finish up my typically lame workout and decide im gonna use the steam room before showering.  so i grab my towel and hang it up on the hooks by the shower.  i steam for a little while until i couldnt breathe and got dizzy...so i guess i was in there for about a minute or two... well next it was time to shower.  i did my showering and got ready to grab my towel.  only problem is that there were like 5 white towels and i had no clue where i hung mine.  i took my best guess and grabbed one.

first thing i go to dry is my face and holy crap "my" towel was suspiciously already moist.  and all over my face.  i dont even want to think why that towel was damp.  i was so grossed out but i wasnt sure if i should just commit to the towel which was definitely not the fresh towel i brought...hell no.  i looked around and saw no one, so i quietly hung that crap back up.  then i grabbed my next best guess.  this new towel was dry and seemingly fresh.  i dried myself off.  wiped my face down REALLY good.  after that i got the hell outta there before the next guy realized his towel, which was once sorta wet and moist, now had a soaking wet spot.

i realize this is gross on so many levels.  im so sorry for sharing.

chum chum

well after 4 years i think my cat is just not able to live with people.  i was hoping shed chill out with age but she and i just had a crazy skirmish in the basement.  basically she was all hyper cuz people were over for the superbowl and she hates new people.  after my friends all left i went down to change her water and give her food but damn she was insane.  she tried to attack me pretty badly a few times and i could not control her at all. 

at this point shes scratched a few people and scared too many others.  i really like her but this is kind of ridiculous.  people are afraid to come over and no one dares enter her territory in the basement.  so i looked up stuff online and it seems the best thing is too simply call the spca and have her picked up or drop her off.  if she seems fine to them then i guess they will give her up for adoption and if not then i guess they euthanize.  i'd like to think they can figure her out but if not then its pretty much a bad idea for her to be around people. 

sometimes you just have to move on when its not working.  poor little kitty.  i tried...

superbowl sunday

 the single greatest game in all team sports goes down today.  i love the super bowl except one thing about it.  its the last game for a looong time.  i dread the off season...

having a super bowl party with the guys at my place.  not sure who i will be rooting for...i like both teams but i think the score will be something like colts 27 saints 20. 

reunions at 10 years

in other words, oldness is happening to me.  on one hand its... damn i cant believe its already 10 years.  on the other hand its holy crap ive learned a lot in those last 10 years and come a long way.  life is weird like that.

so im thinking about...actually im almost certain that i will be playing soccer in the AMAL league this year.  i dont even know the rules.  time to wikipedia soccer.  can i dunk a soccer ball?  and how high is the net?

my cell phone and i are low on power

i think there may be many ways to define laziness.  one way is by my cell phone which is dying because when i am really tired and ready for bed i figure its too much effort to bend over and pick up the wire to charge the phone.  that happened last night.  and the night before.  sometimes, just to get enough juice for the day, i plug it in while i shower and hope i have enough to make it the whole day.  cuz in the morning i have a little more energy.  but thats only sometimes cuz today that was too tiring too. 

from pinky nails to pink

major moment of "what the hell"  occurred about two seconds ago.  i get on my browser to check my email and i have yahoo set to my homepage.  so yahoo always has little articles of news on its frontpage with pictures.  im sure you know what im talking about.  i see a picture of pink...the singer...hanging on some kind of a hammock while singing.  intrigued i read on.  and then i had to watch a video.  and then i had to ask myself...what the hell?

i guess my biggest problem is when i see adults swinging around in the air i cant get over the fact that im seeing what i see.  gymnastics included.  yeah i get it they are strong and can probably kick my ass but still...they swing and roll and prance.  for a living.  and we are all okay with it.

not me.  not anymore.

there is little excuse for people to swing around.  swing around with a mic extra weird.  swing around while singing and then splashing the crowd with water pouring over your body as you are spun around high in the air is just crazy weird.  some people in the crowd wear glasses.  glasses get wet.  god damn i hate when my glasses get wet.  (we wont talk about how i feel about windshields)  and who the hell wants to be splashed by the water coming off of someone elses body?  its like when you are at the gym and showering but someone starts showering next to you and you feel the water from their body hitting you.

pinks performance reminds me of when people (usually a sibling) washes their hands and then flicks water in your face before drying them.  totally uncalled for.

just like her show.