I figured it would be quiet down here.
Cold, dark, and damp.
I was right.

I thought the view would be great.
Clouds, birds, and blue sky.
I was wrong.

I figured I would be afraid.
Mistakes, regrets, punishments.
I was right.

I thought I would be in trouble.
Karma, guilt, sins.
I was wrong.

My reflection is quiet:
It looks back at me silently with a confused grin.
I want it to say more to me, to tell me who I am.
It says nothing; it tells me nothing.

My reflection is fading:
It is wrinkled and it is weak, I do not like it.
I wonder if my reflection has a soul.
I cannot tell; it cannot tell me.

My reflection is no more:
I used to have a reflection to see, to admire.
It has left and no longer looks back at me.
I remember it; soon it will not remember me.

it's possible my headaches are connected to dreams i have.  last night i had a dream that i was walking around my neighborhood with someone (no clue who it was) and singing.  i was singing a beyonce song and honestly...i was damn good.  even on higher notes.  the only problem is beyonce isn't all that good.  so i blame my headache on that. 

and yeah its a bad one. 

live well. love much. laugh often.

...It says that somewhere inside micheal's diner.  two weeks in a row my dad and i headed over there after finishing a morning workout on a sunday morning.  on sundays this place is completely different than any other day of the week.  it attracts an older crowd wearing their sunday best.  i assume most of these church going old folks are the reason republicans win most elections in the area.  annoying.

until today, i always assumed micheal's was greek but it could be egyptian owned based on the manager's name.  but if one thing is common amongst all orthodox christians, you have a conspicuous display of jesus art.  and this isn't just any happy jesus art.  its the slightly scary and very morbid kind.  a face of agony.  sometimes bloody.  always dramatic.    i want to say it looks byzantine.  but i dont know that much about art to classify the style.  still, jesus is always there to greet me when i come in and he and i always stare at one another while i wait for my credit card to go through on the way out.  couldn't imagine anything more interesting to begin and end a meal with...crucifixion. 

i ordered the same thing i had last week.  country style eggs and coffee.  it has potatoes, green peppers, and onions mixed into an omelet but today i had a little meat in my first bite.  i'm not sure what that meat was.  it felt, looked, and tasted like beef and i just hope it wasn't pork or something.  i considered returning my whole plate to the waitress but honestly, what would the point of that be?  obviously the little scrap of meat was from the grill which cooks all kinds of stuff including ham/bacon/pork etc.  so no matter what, i am getting some kind of unwanted scraps and juices in my food.  perhaps most people would feel better about returning their plate and getting a new dish but in the end it all comes from the same place.  i wasn't fooling myself.  maybe that's horrible of me but oh well.  to be totally dedicated and perfect in food consumption i wouldn't even be eating out in the first place.  i like eating out.  i just order foods which are islamically acceptable based on the menu.  after that i leave it to chance and my intention.  i'm just being honest with myself.  i think.